The Joys of The Elderly

Now that I have my nursing license I got a job prn at a nursing home. I have been orienting for the past three weeks and I just finished my orientation last night. Apparently I finished with an impression. When I got to work I started gathering the old folks up into the dining room. One of the ladies there is absolutely crazy. I love her. She was actually starred in a movie with John Wayne in her younger years. Anyway, she cracks me right up. Well the nurse orienting me, my sister Ashley, and I went in the dining room to feed the ones that needed help. I sat by Ashley, who was feeding this old crazy lady, but the lady refused to eat. Both Ashley and I tried to talk her into it, but she wasn't having any of it. She kept saying all these things with her loud sheep sounding voice. She said it was a legal issue why she couldn't eat and she needed to talk to the judge. Ashley told her the court house was closed because it closes at 5:00 and it was 6:00. She looked at me and said something about how the priest didn't want her to eat and I should listen to the priest. I told her that I didn't know because I slept through my alarm clock on Sunday and missed church. She looked at me and said, "I hope your world comes crashing down on you and bad things happen to you. I hope bad things happen to you times 300." Then soon after that I took her out with me so I could keep an eye on her while I did my pill pass because she kept trying to climb out of her wheel chair. My mom showed up to bring Ashley and I dinner. When my mom came over to see me the old lady said to my mom, "Don't believe anything this lady tells you. She is a liar and a thief." It was so dang funny. I did manage to get her to finally take her pills, how I did I don't know, but I did. She finally got calmed down and one of the aids gave her some Mountain Dew so she was happy after that. When she got in bed I told her I loved her and we were friends after that....until next time anyway.